This was Jodi's third class as a tutor, and her second time working with me. She has now seen me naked three times, however - since today had her second and third opportunities for that. More on that if you've been following my Naked Tea Party blog instalments, though. But this posting isn't about those. It's about today's hen party.
This was a good group. Slightly hung over, as all groups of girls should be this early on a Saturday morning - but still ready to have a laugh. They all turned up wearing Chinese hats, which was relevant in some way that I didn't quite catch. I think they explained the connection to Jodi, but I wasn't paying attention at the time. Either way, as soon as I saw the hats, I thought they'd make a good prop for one of the poses, but we never got round to incorporating them.
One of my favourite drawings was one that had a lot of character and personality to it. I commented that the defining characteristic was "glumness" - the posture, the facial expression, even the tilt of the head. The girl immediately drew one extra line and turned the ambiguous facial expression into a smile, instead. I told her that she'd changed it from "glum" to "bashful". It was definitely enough to win the first competition.
While I was posing, I told the girls about the Naked Tea Party and invited them to come along and join in. They certainly seemed interested and intrigued - and they asked if I preferred to be naked. Every time I have permission to do so, I told them. I remembered how, in a recent class, Alison had commented on that. She claimed that there was a complete posture change, every time I got undressed. Apparently, I'm a little shy and reserved until the clothes come off.
During one pose, one of the girls was challenged to get a little hands-on and actually cup my bum in the palms of her hands. I didn't think she'd actually do it, but she was more daring and adventurous than I anticipated, so I had her quite happily cupping me for the following ten minutes or so. The winning picture from that pose looked like she was actually reaching through and getting more exploratory. It had to win, because of that. I couldn't just let it pass, unremarked on.
In a different pose, one of the girls produced a drawing obscene enough that I subtracted three points from her as soon as I saw it. I pointed at her and penalised her on the spot. But then, before either Jodi or I had a chance to update her score - putting her into minus points - someone else pointed out that she'd been very flattering to me. It was a good point, so I told Jodi to mark her up instead. The scoring system is very arbitrary and depends entirely on whatever twisted, skewed bit of logic I'm using at any particular moment. For example...
...for example, there was one that I thought looked pretty cool. I was about to mark it as the winner of one of the challenges, but someone commented that it made me look like David Beckham, so I came close to penalising the artist instead. There was a moment where it could go either way, but then I decided that I couldn't see the resemblance, so I went with my first thoughts and marked it as the winner. To be honest, I should withdraw the comment about being "arbitrary" and just admit that I like being difficult for the sake of it. It makes the classes a lot more fun, anyway.
The Make-A-Giant-Man challenge was the second-last pose and it produced the usual, fascinating results. I adopted the usual "anatomical position" pose for that one, because it's an easy one for the girls to draw if they want to pick out a specific body part, and this challenge relies on them being able to do that. Jodi collected the sheets of paper from the girls as they finished up, so she could start laying them out on the floor as we went along, and when I got up, the winner of that competition immediately presented itself. I barely even had to look at the others - it was the giant big toe. It couldn't be anything else.
We finished up with another of my favourite challenges. It may be a cheat... it may be a slight variation on the Make-A-Giant-Man pose... but it's still a fun one and it's still different enough that I can get away with it. It's the one where we divide the girls up into groups and get them to collaborate on a drawing so that the groups can come up individually and see if they can put them together. This time, I dragged up three tall stools and lay across them, because I was feeling lazy and wanted to lie down for a few minutes. It also meant that I was able to lay there for a bit longer again, while the girls presented their pictures for inspection.
Finally, I selected an overall winner from the pile of challenge winners, and - as promised - awarded that picture five points. This pushed that girl into first place by a single point. I might have to refine that scoring system a little for future classes, because it's too easy at that point - five extra points will almost always put that girl into the lead. So, either I award fewer points for that one, or I throw in extra points at random all the way through the classes, or I just get completely nasty and fix every competition from this point onwards.
That last one could actually work. After all, nobody's expecting fair play. Not while I'm running the show.
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