My first class at the Tron Tavern. It's very central - on Hunter Square. And it was very hard to find a venue that could take a large class at this time of year. This one worked, because it had three floors.
In fact, I wasn't aware of the third floor until I arrived for the class. I had seen the ground floor and the basement, and when I had hired the venue I thought it was the basement I was getting to use. I had no idea there was a sub-basement until I got there on the day and was led one floor lower than I anticipated.
There were lots of tables and chairs to move around, so it's a good job I arrived in plenty of time. And it was a further bonus that I got the time wrong and arrived a full hour earlier than I intended, because that gave me extra time to tweak the layout. There were spotlights that could be adjusted, so I spent ages working out the perfect angle for them. Getting them to highlight the relevant area, without blinding either myself or my audience.
A further challenge was working out how to position the chairs without the various pillars and columns creating blind spots for the girls. There's a lot to think about at these events.
Now, it's no surprise to find out that some of my favourite pictures in these classes are the penis ones. I'm shallow enough to be entertained by them and I like the sense of fun when they're produced. It shows that the girls are really relaxing into the concept and are starting to enjoy themselves. It also gives me the opportunity to make jokes about my own fragile ego, when someone is clearly flattering the dimensions.
But this time... this particular one was lovingly drawn and detailed and has, as a result, quite possibly become my favourite penis picture so far. I genuinely do love this one a lot. And I really wish I could have kept it as a souvenir.
It even seemed to capture a bit of the waxing I had endure a week earlier, in anticipation of this class. And that's a bit of personal grooming that needs some forward planning. A week is perfect. Much less than that, and there's too much potential for some unsightly blotchiness. And given the amount of detail in this picture, it's entirely possible that the blotchiness would have been included, had it been present.
Another favourite was what appeared to be a very cold and nervous man. Neither of these are characteristics that are generally associated with me at these events. I'll always pull back the waistband of my boxers (or whatever I happen to be wearing just before the big reveal), look sorrowfully inside, comment on the temperature and make a brief plea for understanding. It's a tired gag for anybody I happen to be working with, if they've heard it at every other class I've ever done with them, but it does generally get a few indulgent laughs from the girls.
But this picture definitely doesn't look like me. It's so far from my personality and general posture at one of these events, that it had to win that particular drawing challenge due to its sheer contrariness. I couldn't help nominating it. I also really liked the one that somehow made me think of all those old black-and-white, very worthy, stiff-upper-lip British dramas that feature doomed romances. Just with... you know... the occasional naked man to spice up the plot a bit.
It was a great class. Apart from a minor mishap involving a ruler, I managed to maintain my usual professional standards throughout. And I managed to avoid causing offence when the standards slipped slightly. It might be my natural grace and charm that allow me to handle such moments with aplomb. Except I don't actually have any grace or charm. Or aplomb (whatever that is). So there must be something else.
As usual, the "Make A Giant Man" pose was the highlight of the class. And as is generally the case, when the girls get to choose what they contribute to such a picture, they tend to favour one particular body part. And flatter is - invariably - a consequence of these moments.
Another of my favourite pictures was the "Goat Man" picture which I thought had to be a first. I was clean shaven and didn't have anything that even remotely resembled a beard, but this one still had me looking slightly goat like. The fact that he seems slightly erect is also a source of amusement to me, but as I hinted at earlier, my sense of humour is definitely a bit puerile.
The girls left me with most of the pictures at the end of the class, which was really cool. I'll get them photocopied sooner or later, then I'll bind them into a couple of new books to show round future classes. They took away the winning pictures, which was disappointing, of course, because those were - by definition - my absolute favourites. But it was still really cool to get all of the others.
