Attitudes to nudity

Sometimes there are really cool coincidences going on at these hen nights.  I was originally supposed to do this class at the Tiki Bar in Glasgow, but due to some sort of mistake (I'm still not clear on it) the booking didn't go ahead.  So some rapid calling round ensued and I got a conference room at the Premier Inn, just off George Square instead.  Then, halfway through the class, one of the girls told Alison and I that they were all actually staying in that hotel.

Something similar happened once before.  I did a job in Inverness, and spent a day hunting for suitable venues.  When I finally found one on the far side of the river, the girls told me they were staying in the hotel right next door.

Anyway, this wasn't the most stress free of weekends.  I had two jobs - one in Edinburgh at 12PM and one in Glasgow at 3PM, but I didn't have a model for the Edinburgh job.  I thought of sending Alison on to Glasgow to set up the room, while I did both jobs.  I'd worked out that I could catch the train at 1:45PM, get into Glasgow at 2:36PM and get to the Premier Inn less than ten minutes after that.  But then, I'd have been stressing the whole time, just in case the train was running late.

Thankfully, however, we managed to get a model for the Edinburgh class.  So I dropped off the sketchpads, met Alison at the bus station (cheaper than the train) and took off for Glasgow in plenty of time.

We had a great group.  They came down and introduced themselves, then most of them arrived in plenty of time for the class, but three of them were late.  When that three arrived, they had dressed for the part.  I won't even bother describing them - just check out the pictures.

The girls had all been to the Tennents Brewery the day before, and attended a cookery class there.  I'd never heard of this before, but it sounded pretty cool, the way they described it.  I did a quick web search and I think this is it.  It might be worth checking out, because it could be a good alternative venue for future classes in Glasgow.

One of the girls seemed pretty curious about my attitudes towards nudity and had a lot of questions and insights of her own.  She said that she'd felt a bit self-conscious about being in a room with a naked man, for about five minutes, and then she'd simply relaxed right into it and started to almost treat it like it was something normal.  I said that when I first started life modelling, back in my early twenties, I had felt intensely nervous for the first shift, but within a week I had actually had to remind myself of the reasons that nudity had ever felt unnatural.

I wondered what she would make of the Aberlady nude beach, and it occurred to me that she might go along if I ever invited her.  Or if she didn't live in Oban.  And then it occurred to me that there might be one in Oban as well.  It's been a long time since I last visited in Oban.  And it rained that week.  Every day.  Still a beautiful place, though and still well worth going back to.

It's a shame that Premier Inns always look so clinical and sterile, because they're otherwise good venues.  When the various pub options have been exhausted, we always know we can fall back on one of these places and they're always very clean and presentable - never a need to sweep up or do some rapid cleaning after the previous night's drinking if the bar staff have been a bit remiss.  But they almost never seem to provide a good backdrop for any truly great photographs.  So these postings tend to lack a bit of sparkle as a result.

Despite that, though, we still managed to get good pictures with our various competition winners.  Alison and I have continued with our new routine of picking out winning pictures as we go along, and we took some PG versions of the photographs each time.  I could be flattering myself, but I get the impression that they enjoyed their various moments in the spotlight.

Alison and I went to the Tiki Bar after that, and had a couple of drinks.  It's definitely one of my favourite places to visit, when I'm in town.  It was a nice way to round off the afternoon.

Waxing with Kirsty

Those of you who follow this blog - and I know there must be somebody out there, or I'm just talking to myself - probably already know that I like to keep my thatch looking reasonably neat.  I've been waxed a couple of times during training sessions run by Kim Lawless, and those have been fairly public affairs.  Being naked for one of my hen nights is nothing, compared to being naked for a class full of girls, when a couple of them are going to be getting fairly intimate with hot wax.  It's a nerve-wracking experience, but it's definitely worth it.

The last time I got waxed, though, was in September of 2011, so I was definitely due an update.  Overdue an update.  I've been looking pretty unkempt lately, as a result.  It's not the sort of thing that most girls complain about in one of my classes, because a bit of a thatch isn't exactly unusual.  But if they can see there's been a bit of grooming, they seem to appreciate it.

Back in September, I was the practice model for a girl called Kirsty Penny, and she did a great job.  I was really impressed with the results, and made a decision that I was definitely going to go back to her.  I tried to make arrangements back in January, but for various reasons I wasn't able to make it.  I eventually got round to it last night, though.  And I think a monthly visit from now on, for a bit of maintenance is in order.

I would recommend Kirsty to anyone.  We discussed what I wanted and this time I was left with a really cool triangular thatch that I loved.  At the time, it didn't even occur to me that one of the more subversive elements of a thatch like that, is that it's kind of "pointing the way".  I'm sure that when I work again this weekend, the girls will already have a clear idea of where they want to look, but if they choose to, they could always follow the hints from that little arrow.

I've been spreading the word, lately.  I've recommended waxing to a few people.  I've told guys about the benefits, and they've always looked fairly dubious - though, in many cases, they've also looked pretty intrigued.  I've turned to their girlfriends and recommended that they get persuasive.  I keep telling them that when they first cup that velvety smooth pair of plums in their hand, they'll never go back to how it was before.  On at least one occasion, I convinced the boyfriend to get it done, but my success rate has probably been a bit low when I pitch it to the men.

Anyway, I definitely recommend it.  With the right therapist (and Kirsty is definitely one of the good ones) you'll get really good results with a minimum level of discomfort.  So, if this blog has any influence at all on anyone local, then contact her.  She's worth it.

Seriously... when I got home after getting it done, I walked around naked for the rest of the night, just admiring it and stroking the smooth bits.  Not in a dirty way, I should add.  Well... OK... occasionally in a dirty way.  Actually, that should be acknowledged, because it's indisputable.  Being handled that intimately, and getting results that cool... it's going to make the area clean, but it's just inevitable that the mind is going to turn that little bit dirty.

KirstyPenny@Gmail.Com

07912 683 920

The future's so bright...

Normally, I don't go naming any of the people among the groups who hire me.  There are two reasons for that - first is that I'm terrible at remembering names, so I don't have to worry about getting it right.  Second is that I worry a little about the privacy of those who might not want to be named.  Now, since I've been posting pictures more and more often, the privacy issue might be largely redundant.  The remembering part, though... that's as relevant as ever.

Today's group, though... they had already been a bit prepared.  The name of the bride was plastered all over the wall, with a couple of photographs taped up.  I haven't vetted the pictures I plan to use yet, so that name might be revealed to any readers of this blog.  But I'm still going to refer to her as "the bride".  Just like I always do.

This was actually one of the easiest classes I've ever organised.  Mostly because I didn't actually do all that much organising.  The girl who hired me was very efficient.  The original plan had been to hold the event in Dumfries, but it got moved to Glasgow at a very early stage.  I told the organiser about The Tiki Bar, and said that was a favourite venue of mine - in fact, my only regular venue in Glasgow, but still an incredibly cool place.  I sent her my usual link to the bar's website and in her next email to me, she spoke about how she had called the bar right away.  Apparently the bar staff enthused about my classes, so I get a little extra validation and she signed everybody up for their Cocktail Making Masterclass as well.  That would have been held shortly after the tutor and I left.

The introduction was fun, again.  I noticed that there was a sort of cupboard (I missed it on previous visits to The Tiki Bar) and I asked the barman if it was OK to use it.  He pointed out that it was tiny, but since I was only going to be hiding inside it, that was cool with me.  I set up the room so that the bride's chair was facing in that general direction to make sure she'd get the best possible view of my introduction, tucked my clothes behind a bit of furniture at the back of the room and waited for the organiser to arrive.

When she did, we went through the introduction and I described how Adriana could cue up the usual boring routine - claiming she was going to teach them to draw fruit.  She loved that and I asked how she wanted me to step out.  Some people like me to be wearing something right at the start.  But no... naked... she was very adamant on that one.  Later, she told me her boyfriend says that she's bossy.  I just thought that she was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and wasn't shy about saying so.

I couldn't close the cupboard door properly,  but that meant I had a great view of what was going on through the crack by the hinge.  I could see a large chunk of the room.  At one point, I could see one girl showing another girl a ring she was wearing, and I thought I'd identified the bride.  Apparently not, though - this was a girl who had recently become engaged.

A couple of minutes later, I thought I'd messed up on the surprise when another girl (who actually turned out to be the bride) walked to the back of the room.  I was surprised and curious to see that she was carrying a pair of skis and wearing a skiing outfit.  She went looking for somewhere to set down the skis, which meant she glanced behind a piece of furniture and saw my clothes piled up.  She was curious about them and commented on them, but didn't pick up on what they really implied.  I was a bit anxious at that point, but after a moment she found her seat and sat down.  And so I waited for my cue.

There were no shrieks or screams when I stepped out of the cupboard.  In fact, it was the most chilled out and relaxed response I've ever had.  I was almost disappointed.  But then I loved the way they just took everything in their stride after that.  The poses, the challenges, the whole lot.  They definitely seemed to enjoy themselves, anyway.  And, like the organiser, they didn't seem particularly shy with their requests or thoughts or ideas.  I still wouldn't have referred to anyone as being "bossy", though.

A couple of times I was asked to wear shades, as part of a couple of the poses.  I loved them.  Being naked is one thing.  Being naked with shades on is just quirky.

I asked about the skis, but she wouldn't elaborate.  She claimed to have been skiing in France that morning and hadn't had time to get changed yet.  A good answer, but I've got my doubts.  There's no way she could convince me on that one.  I'm not an idiot.  I know she could have got changed at the airport.

Later... inevitably... we used the skis as props in one of the poses.

Like last week, I picked out favourite pictures from every pose.  Like last week, the plan was to have individual winners as we went along - then one final, overall winner at the end.  Unlike last week, however, the overall winner somehow got forgotten amidst the sheer energy of the whole event.  I only remembered about it much later, and I was gutted.

During one pose, there were three great pictures and I couldn't pick a favourite.  They each had great physical characteristics going on, so they were immediately referred to as Bruce Forsyth, Frankenstein's monster and the missing link.  Seriously... if you'd seen these specific pictures, you'd have got the references right away.  Assuming you knew who Bruce Forsyth was, of course.

The bride at one point asked me what I was doing in July of 2014 - I think a friend of hers is getting married.  So if she books me, that might turn out to be the most foreplanned event I've ever had.  So, now I really hope the world doesn't end this year, because I really wouldn't want to disappoint her.

The last pose of the class - like in the last couple of weeks - was the "Make a Giant Man" pose.  I should get name all these poses and get some cards printed up or something.  That would be fun.  When we laid it out, it seemed that this group of girls were particularly interested in drawing my torso.  One claimed that she had drawn my groin, but no matter how I looked at it or what way I held it, I just couldn't see it at all.  In the end, I told her it looked like a medieval helmet and put it above my head instead - or above where my head would have been, if anyone had drawn me with a face.

The bride was drawing me in profile and she drew my nose - nothing else.  Fair enough... the only thing bigger than my nose is my chin, so that worked in profile.  So, perhaps the Giant Man needed a helmet - to disguise the fact that the rest of his face was hidden.

A giant eye

Yesterday, I was working with a new tutor - an Australian girl called Jodi, that Alison had recruited.  She arrived early, shortly after I'd set up the room, so we were able to talk for a while and learn what each others' expectations were.  When she asked about the upcoming group, I told her I didn't know anything about them, because they'd booked through one of the agencies.  All I knew was that there were twelve girls.

I said that the default option was to assume that at least one person was being surprised, so I should step outside and wait for my intro.  If nobody arrived early and introduced themselves, that was how we'd play it.  We were still talking, though, when two of the girls turned up - so after that, we were able to get a clearer idea of the right approach to take.

They told us that the only person still in the dark was the bride.  They were going to lead her in blindfolded and they wondered if I'd take up a position just in front of her, ready for "the grand unveiling".  They apologised in advance for the screaming we would get.  Then they went back up to the bar and ordered their drinks and waited for their friends to turn up.

So that was great.  Jodi and I got ready and waited for the girls to come back.  I kept on my bright trousers until everybody had taken their seats, then took the bride's hand for a moment and everybody took a few pictures while she was wondering what was going on.

She definitely did scream.  In fact, once she'd made the initial glance at me, it was ages before she could even look at me.  She had her head turned away and her eyes covered - the whole lot.  Sometimes, at these points, I worry slightly about whether the bride's friends have misjudged her response; but these always seem to be early reactions and the moments always seem to pass fairly quickly.

 Jodi did a great job of introducing the class and getting things moving along.  And she was cool about taking pictures on my iphone.  I asked everybody's permission in advance, as usual, and explained how the pictures would add a bit of colour to the blog, and they were all cool about it.

We did the random picture generator thing for the last pose.  The girls were all asked to draw a single body part, so we could try to create a man on the floor when we were done.  I'm hooked on that challenge, now - I always want to see what kind of results we'll get.  This time, I ended up with two torsos, a giant nipple, a giant eye, five penises and no legs.  And the bride - the girl who could barely look at me, back at the start of the class - was responsible for one of the penises.  I posed with that drawing for a couple of the pictures.

Towards the end, Jodi asked me to show her how to delete some pictures, then took my iphone over to a couple of the girls and let them pick out any pictures that identified them personally.  They had professional jobs and didn't want their pictures to be used in any way that might compromise their standings - including blogs like this.  I'm actually surprised that I haven't encountered that response before, and I thought it was pretty cool that they had allowed the pictures to be taken in the first place and just arranged to remove the ones that would be potentially troublesome.

This also meant that there were two sets of group photos at the end.  Some with me, but minus the two professional girls and some with all of the girls.  There was a lot of jostling going on when I was posing with the girls, and it took me a moment to realise what was going on.  A couple of them were trying to press each others' hands against my bum.  Perhaps I should have been outraged.  I might pretend to be offended, next time something like that happens.