The show must go on

My most recent class started off badly and I had to open up with apologies to the girls.  My scheduled tutor had to deal with a family emergency at the last minute and I couldn't locate another one at such short notice.  So I had to run the entire class by myself.  They were all very nice about it, but I couldn't help feeling particularly bad at the end when the group pictures were being taken.  That's normally the tutor's job.

Apart from that it went pretty smoothly, though.  It was, as usual, a fun class.  Without the tutor, I couldn't hide outside and wait to be introduced, but the girl who had booked me had already told me that there was no need for the surprise introduction anyway, so that wasn't an issue.  Instead I set up the room, then waited for everybody to arrive.

It's not the easiest job when I have to carry two roles, but I think I managed it OK.  I kicked off with a new challenge - one that I think I'll probably incorporate into future classes.  I challenged the girls to draw something purely from their imaginations, then tear out the pictures and pick out the most popular suggestion.  This would form the first pose.  One of them was exceptionally obscene and I posed for a photograph with the girl who had drawn it, but quietly discounted it as an option.

Every group is different - this is one of the things I love about this job.  Some groups will shyly ask me some questions, but will warn me that the questions might be "a little cheeky" first.  Some groups will just launch straight in with no preamble.  This group were curious, but straightforward.  I was asked if I ever got erections at these events and if I groomed prior to every class.  This was clearly a reference to my well-manicured thatch, so I told them about the waxing.  Then, one girl asked me if I pumped myself up prior to a class.  It took me a moment or so to realise that she was referring to my testicles.  Nobody has ever referred to those before, so I can only assume that the waxing has made them appear to be bigger without any hair in the way.  Another good reason to maintain the grooming.

I managed to introduce the various challenges and the class appeared to go very well.  At one point, the lady who booked me posed with me and one of her friends drew something very different from the pose she was presented with.

At the end, the girls only took a dozen or so pictures and I was given the remainder of them.  Whenever I get enough of these pictures, I create a couple of books out of them.  I learned a little Japanese stab-binding last year, so I could present the pictures creatively and I generally start off a class by showing the girls examples of pictures created by previous groups. Anyway, I think I'll combine these with the individual pictures I've been left with at the end of various other classes and get a couple of brand new books out of it.

So... all in all... another fun class, I think.  And once again, I apologise to everybody for the lack of a tutor.

Dundee

Hannah - my newest tutor - worked with me for the first time, today.  She's cheerful and bubbly, with a contagious enthusiasm that really works for these classes.  We were working in Dundee and the first challenge was meeting each other.  I caught the train from Edinburgh, while she caught the bus from Aberdeen.  We met at an M&S and headed to the venue - a pub called Drouthy Neebors.

It was a beautiful place and we quickly set about moving chairs about and setting out sketchpads.  Then, when I saw a curtained off area, I talked Hannah through the recently developed introduction procedure, then hid behind the curtain.

It didn't work this time, though.  I hadn't had direct contact with anyone from this particular group, so didn't know how many of them were aware of the nature of the event before they arrived.  Turns out all barring the bride knew, so I could hear them expressing disbelief and pointing out the curtain.  So, no dramatic entrance for once.

The group were from Aberdeenshire, so while I was taking up the first couple of poses, I let them know I used to live up there myself.  I spoke about how I once lived in Inverurie and a few of the girls let out cheers, since they also lived there.  One of them was a retired teacher.  We spent a minute or two trying to work out whether she had ever taught me, but came to no real conclusions.  That was definitely a surreal moment.

I was disappointed, though - nobody commented on my recent bit of maintenance and even when I mentioned that I had been waxed, the response was completely underwhelming.  Nobody cared.  Why do I put myself through these things when nobody appreciates the pain I have to go through?

Another fun class, though.  Sadly, I had to disrupt the continuity at the end by getting dressed and letting everyone see me with my clothes on before I left.  I prefer not to break the pattern, but sometimes it's unavoidable.

For the second time in as many weeks, someone took video footage of the event.  So, for the second time in as many weeks, I want to put out a request for a copy of it, along with the usual request for comments and photographs.

Afterwards, Hannah and I stopped at a cafe and had something to eat.  I told her I'd be very happy to hire her again in the future.  And now I'm hoping to get a job in Aberdeen in a couple of weeks, so I can do exactly that.

A neater thatch

I've been looking a bit unkempt at my classes just recently  There's a reason for that, though.  I recently agreed to be a model for a class about mens' intimate waxing and had to lay off the grooming for a couple of weeks.

The tutor was Kim Lawless.  She's very famous and has featured on GMTV and now - having experienced one of her training sessions - I can see why.  The class was fun and relaxed, but very informative.

It takes a genuine lack of self-consciousness to be a model for such a class and some of the stages are very undignified - but the results are amazing.  I'm sure it won't be too narcissistic to say that I really like the way I look right now.  I had anticipated everything coming off, but instead it was trimmed and landscaped and reduced down to just the thatch running from belly-button to lower abdomen.

So, today, I'm looking exceptionally neat and well groomed.  In fact, I don't think my thatch has ever looked better.  I'm definitely going to keep volunteering for these classes.

My apologies to everyone who hired me in recent weeks - but I never got the impression that anyone was particularly offended, so I won't worry about it too much.  And hopefully anyone who hires me for future hen nights will appreciate the new look.

The banana

Claire and I got on the underground and headed out to the West End.  We had a minor loss of way when I insisted that I knew the route, but got it wrong and we got off at the wrong station, but that was corrected quickly.  Then we used the iPhone satnav system to walk from the underground to the new address.

This was in a private residence.  My favourite type, since everybody is generally much more relaxed and comfortable and I don't have to worry too much about whether the location is suitable or not, because the person who has hired me has already taken care of that.  So no need to rapidly peg up "washing lines" and sheets to create privacy.

Also, I really enjoy the drama of these events.  Texting the person who hired us so we can be smuggled in to the residence, hidden somewhere (the bathroom in this case) while everybody is hustled in to the main room and then introduced to best effect.  Twice, someone knocked on the bathroom door, making Claire have to call out that it was occupied while we waited for our respective cues.

Then Claire was taken through to the main room.  She handed out sketchpads and charcoal, while I hid round the corner and waited for my own cue - in this case, it was the word "banana".  I almost messed up when I heard someone else use the word unexpectedly, but managed to restrain myself.

So as soon as Claire told the class they were going to be drawing "this banana", I walked in and took it from her.  As usual... my favourite moment... and this time it took a while before I could be heard.  I held up the banana and told everyone they were till to draw the prop, but that I was going to hold it for them.

Another good thing about private residences is that there are often props that get incorporated into the classes.  This time I posed wearing a sailor's cap and a feather boa at one point.  I was very keen on getting copies of some of those pictures, so I also want to thank the party leader for providing some.  If there are any more available, then please send them to my usual address.  Farquhar1970@AOL.Com.  They will illustrate this posting nicely.

Afterward, Claire and I headed back to the subway station and quickly discovered that the satnav had steered us on a pretty circuitous route.  The return journey - via an underpass - got us back to the station much more quickly.

Challenges

The first job outside of Edinburgh this year, and the first with one of my newest tutors.  I was based at the Stateside Bar in Glasgow's Merchant City and was working with Claire Patterson.  She was a great tutor and we worked very well together, so I'm really looking forward to doing so again.  She had hired me earlier in the year to do some photographic modelling for her.  It was good to return the favour and hire her right back.

Things didn't go completely smoothly this time.  I arrived four hours early because I wanted to make sure various challenges had been taken care of and I wanted to have the time to cope with them if they weren't.  And right away, I was confronted with a venue that comprised of a wide open balcony overlooking a market square that was expected to be very busy - with clear views of anything that was going on.  There were supposed to be screens in place, but they weren't there, the manager who had hired me the venue was no longer working there and nobody even knew I was supposed to have a class there.  This has taught me the value of checking up and making sure that agreements are still understood when a deadline for a class draws near.

So I had to rapidly improvise and set about transforming a wide-open space into somewhere an art class with a naked male model could take place.  A quick visit to a nearby department store and a nearby hardware store provided me with bungee clips, cord and some sheets, though - and an hour later, I'd rigged up a "washing line".  By the time I was finished, I still had two hours to spare, so I went to meet Claire and take her back to the bar.

When the girls arrived, I wasn't able to do my preferred introduction because there was nowhere to hide.  Instead, I stood and waited for them all to arrive and so got the individual responses as Claire led them through the makeshift screens one-by-one.

An interesting addition, though, was that one girl had a video-camera and so was also able to capture the responses on film.  I always make it known that any pictures of these events are very welcome and can be used to illustrate the postings on this blog if the girls are happy to share them.  The usual address for the pictures is Farquhar1970@AOL.Com.

But a personal request to this particular group... I would love a copy of the film as well though, if it's possible to get one and if you're happy to share it.  It would make the perfect illustration for this particular posting.

Back to the class.  Claire was a perfect tutor.  She engaged the girls well and knew exactly when to offer tuition and when to back off and just enjoy the banter.  She set some fun drawing challenges and offered some good tips.  I've never been able to draw at all, but I could see that she would make an excellent tutor at more serious art classes as well - one girl started off very hesitant and unsure of what to do, but "graduated" the class with far more skill.  I could see her confidently sketching out a great drawing during the last pose of the event.

We finished with the usual round of photographs and took our time leisurely winding the class down.  Then I got dressed, the washing line was taken down, the sheets were put away and we headed out to the West End of Glasgow for the next event.

A final "fun" moment for this class...  I borrowed a knife from the bar kitchen to cut down the cord line, but forgot that I had used a bungee at each end to put it up in the first place, so it was under pressure from both ends.  When I cut the cord, I heard a cry of surprise and looked round.  The cord was all the way over at the other end of the balcony and Claire was standing back, looking slightly startled.  Luckily, the cord had missed her.  Decapitating a tutor is not generally a good start to a working relationship.

A quiet buzz

It was the start of a busy weekend.  And the first time this year that Marta worked with me as my tutor this year, so nice to catch up with her.

I briefly updated her about the new routine that Alison and I had introduced in previous weekends, then went and hid so I could be introduced to the group once they had all arrived and settled down.  This is rapidly turning into my favourite part of any event.  That moment of shock and surprise that everyone has, when my tutor opens the door and I first walk through it.

The girls were a lot of fun and I even got a hug from one of them before they all left.  I think that's a first, actually, and it really cheered me.  I think people are often a bit less tactile when one person is naked under circumstances like this, so it made me happy that people were comfortable enough to do that.

I handed out my new business cards and got some great feedback in the visitors' book.  One girl promised to recommend me to all her friends and I think I heard someone talk about hiring me again for a private party without the "hen night" rationale.  I love it when people tell me at the end that they had a lot of fun, just before leaving.  It gives me a quiet buzz that lasts the rest of the day.