Oscars

I've got to admit that I had a stressful start to the day. I caught the train to Newcastle in plenty of time, dug out my iPhone and started using Google Maps to guide me to my destination - the Premier Inn. After getting completely lost, I gave up, called the hotel and was guided back along the route I had just taken. The guide had taken me right to the doorstep, but then steered me a lot further on. If I had only looked up at one point - rather than at the screen - I wouldn't have walked right past it.

I still got there in time, though. I tend to be a bit paranoid about that, so I like to make sure I schedule enough spare time to accommodate for things like this.

There were eight girls in this group and so when I proposed the collage challenge (my new favourite) I just divided them into two groups of four, explained the rules - and then we were on our way. I was so keen to do this one again, that it was the first proper challenge and only the third pose of the class.

One of the groups decided to split the pose right down the middle - with two girls working on the left hand side of my body and two on the right. Then a hastily drawn head. I'm not sure, but I think the lack of the head was an oversight, like they'd forgotten it completely.

In the other group, one of the girls was positioned unfortunately and her key area was perhaps a bit more specific than she might have been happy with, but she rose to the challenge. She spent a lot of time drawing hair. I'm due to get waxed this week, sometime - I might have been able to save an entire stick of charcoal if I'd just had that done a few days early.

When the groups presented their collages, it was decided I would stand behind the relevant pieces of paper as a further bit of illustration. The group that had split my body right down the middle had a moment of indecision when it was discovered that both girls who had drawn my legs had been fully anatomically detailed. At first, the decision was to fold one piece of paper to conceal part of the drawing, but then it was decided to keep them intact so both penises were visible - and hold them up so they flanked the real one.

The winner of the "best picture" competition stood up and gave a brief speech - thanking her classmates and her model in true Oscar style. One of her early drawings had actually looked a lot like an Oscar, which made that even funnier. Well... funny to me... I like that sort of thing.

The girls have all promised to send pictures. So I'm hoping to illustrate this posting very soon.

Introducing Wee Jakey

I read about a drawing challenge last night, and it sounded like fun - so today, I really felt like I had to try it out. I divided the class into four groups of people - each group containing either three or four girls. I told each group that they were to work together and draw a full body. Each participant within each group had to agree to work on a specific body part, then at the end, they would put the pages together.

It was a great exercise and I'm definitely going to use it again. Once the pose was completed, I got each group to come up with their pages, put them together and see how well they all fitted. The first group used an extra sheet of paper - presumably in order to flatter me. Photos were taken of each creation. Once they were done, I set all the picture collages on the floor, then more pictures were taken of them all side-by-side with each other.

The competition at the end of the class was particularly difficult today. I selected my favourites, as usual, and tried to discard all barring just one or two of them - but this time there were four pictures remaining that I just couldn't choose between. I was all set for a prolonged applause-o-meter, but the girls shouted that down and chose the picture the bride had drawn. This was the head of her group's montage. It looked like one of those old Communist Propaganda posters and I thought it was beautiful.

One of the other pictures in the running was also the head of that particular collage - but this one had a slightly sardonic look to it. I really liked the smirk.

For today's group, it was only the bride who apparently didn't know what kind of event she had been signed up for. She seemed pleased, though. But she also said that someone had told her not to "draw the penis too big", which suggested that she might have had some idea of what to anticipate.

A new introduction to today's class was Wee Jakey. I saw a poseable artists' doll in an art shop while I was picking up fresh charcoal and chalks and had to buy it. A great addition to the classes, because the girls can use Jakey to suggest poses that they'd like to see. Sadly, the bride's suggestion - which looked very elegant - was impossible for me to even attempt. It looked like he was diving off a cliff - chest out, arms backward and (crucially) feet off the floor. I didn't even attempt it.

Two models

The Standard has one minor problem. It's not the perfect shape for a large group of people gathered around one focal point. So when I was hired for a party consisting of thirty girls, there was just one thing to do - hire a second model. And so, for the first time, we had one art class and two models.

I arrived early and set up the venue around two focal points, then sat back and waited for Alison and Stuart to arrive. And Alison had the great idea of keeping the class "fresh" by switching models over at half time. My own plan had simply involved us setting up, adopting one of the spaces and letting the girls move around to suit themselves - if they preferred what the other group was doing, they could switch seats. Alison's idea was better, though.

She probably had to work hardest for this one. Flitting between the two groups and co-ordinating the poses - making sure everybody was happy - setting up fresh poses. But the event ended up being so much fun that I'm actually hoping to get another big class very soon. At the very least it means I can give Stuart more work.

It was a very lively and cheerful class. At the end, the extra model provided a fresh element for the bride - she got between us both for the group photograph. I really hope that the extra nudity involved provides an additional subversive edge to her souvenir pictures.

Willy warmer

I was given a present today. One of the girls had brought along a knitted willy warmer for me. A little, rainbow-coloured thing that even had two little pouches for testicles and a couple of ties to secure it in place. I hate to brag, but there's absolutely no way I'll ever fit into it - but it's a great novelty souvenir of a fun class.

And I still really like The Standard. It's a great place and the staff are very friendly and accommodating. The barman is happy to bring drinks down to the girls and doesn't bat an eyelid at the fact that there's a naked man standing in the background while he does so.

Today, however, he upstaged me. One of the girls had asked if he was single, so when he came down with a tray of cocktails, I pointed her out to him. Next thing I knew, he was posing for pictures with some of the girls. If he ever wants to rethink his career choice, I'd be more than happy to offer him a job.

As usual, there were some great drawings and as usual, it was difficult to pick out a favourite. Even the pile of discarded drawings - those that get left behind at the end of every class - always seems to have some great pictures among them. I'm planning to get them all scanned, then bind them together into more books very soon.

But right now, I would like to put out my regular request for the girls of this group to email me photographs - it's always good to be able to illustrate these postings.