Where the men are naked

Charcoal, coloured chalk, sketchpads, a fun environment and a naked man.
What more could you possibly want?

Saturday 11 August 2012

Fifty shades


My scheduled tutor didn't turn up this afternoon.  I tried calling her, I left a message on her answering machine and sent a couple of texts - but never heard back from her at all.  It's left me with a bit of a dilemma.  She's a good tutor and I want to keep hiring her, but I really don't like being let down like that at all.  It's also got me a bit concerned.  Since I haven't heard from her at all, and since I don't think she'll have simply forgotten about the classes, I can't help wondering why she didn't turn up.

However... despite that the event went well.  I'm perfectly capable of delivering a class on my own, even if I prefer to have a tutor to work with.  So when the girls arrived, I just explained that Jodi was absent and we launched into the class.

I've done a class with some of this group before - last year, sometime.  Some of them were in a group that had hired me a year ago, and it seemed that I had been popular enough to merit a repeat booking.  And they took some of my brand new, redesigned business cards, and promised to book me again for another wedding next year.  It seems they're already planning the next one.

While I was in the first pose, I started to notice the t-shirts the girls were all wearing.  One had the words "submissive in training" and another said something about preferring vanilla.  They were all carrying canes and floggers and various dominatrix accoutrements.  And they were all - for some reason - wearing ties.

I'm not sure what the relevance of the ties was, but I might find out when I read the book they took their inspiration from.  All but one of them had read Fifty shades of grey - a book that, apparently, is very popular at the moment.  I've heard about it, but all I knew was that it was an erotic novel.  More specifically, however, it's an erotic novel with BDSM themes going on.  They recommended it to me wholeheartedly, so I should track it down and read it.  And perhaps find out what the ties are all about, in the process.


I was asked to wear one of the ties for one of the poses, and one of the girls gave hers to me.  It's been years since I last wore one, so I thought I might mess it up, but it came back to me easily.  I had the knot half done, when one of the girls told me that they didn't want me to tie it round my neck.  I couldn't think where else to tie it, though - and no suggestions were volunteered - so I left it round my neck.  And I kept it on for the rest of that class.  At the end of the class, I was told I could keep it, so I'll leave it in my case to use as a potential prop for future classes.  I love it when I get a souvenir like that.

(A little note to anyone else who books me in the future - presents are always welcome.)


I was also given a riding crop to pose with.  I was really, really hoping I would be given that too, and even threatened to steal it from the girls.  I didn't do that, though.  Deep down, even though I try to be dishonest, there seems to be a fundamental, basic part of me that has to "do the right thing".  Fair enough - I have a skewed perspective on what the right thing is, sometimes.  But it apparently doesn't extend to stealing riding crops.

It was fun to pose with, though.  Not even in a particularly dominant kind of way (not all the time, at least).  But when I was picking out the favourite pictures from every pose, I found that I was using the crop to gesture with a lot.  It was fun.


There was a challenge delivered at one point.  I had to identify the two medical professionals within the group.  But one of the professionals immediately said something that identified herself.  And the girl who delivered the challenge made a sort of vague gesture as she was speaking, which pointed in the general direction of the other professional.  And when I looked in that direction, one of the four girls she gestured towards was trying not to smile.  I felt ridiculously pleased with myself.  It was hardly Columbo, after all.

That same girl won one of the drawing competitions.  The tie I was wearing came out looking like a stethoscope and the riding crop I was holding looked vaguely medical and vaguely threatening.  At least, it did to me.  I couldn't help liking it.

Another picture looked even more threatening.  I was supposed to wield the riding crop like I was whipping one of the girls, while she knelt in front of me - blindfolded and with her hands tied behind her back.  Those ties make for very versatile props.  I don't think it was meant to look quite as brutal as it did, though.  Still... the girl was smiling, so it's simply not possible for it to look too scary. 


Today, for the first time in a long time, I introduced prizes to the competition.  A couple of months ago, I printed up three sets of greeting cards and I offered a choice of them to the girl who won the competition.  Then someone suggested that perhaps the bride deserved one as well, and I couldn't argue with that logic.  A couple of minutes after they had gone, though, I noticed that they'd left one of the cards, so I threw on some clothes and ran upstairs to catch up with them.  There was a policewoman standing at the bar.  Apparently, someone walking along Howe Street, had looked down and through the window of the room we were in, taken offence at what they'd seen and called the police.  She had come into the pub and asked at the bar if there was "a naked man wearing a tie" on the premises.  Now... technically there's a bit of a contradiction there... but I suspect that's a bit of logic that won't impress anyone.  So now the window looking in on the Standard is freshly decorated with a black bin bag.


One of the barmen later told me that there had been a complaint about "a naked man brandishing an offensive weapon".  I was shocked and actually - thinking about the riding crop I'd been waving around - believed him.  He was just joking, though - the only thing that had been a problem at all was the nudity.

When the group had gone, I tried again to call Jodi.  I hoped she would at least be able to get here in time for the next class.  Still no response, though.

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Smoke

I made up a book of some of my pictures. Just in case anyone's interested. It's very expensive, but you can see and buy it at the Blurb website and you can get a preview of it here. Just the first fifteen pages, though. Consider it a teaser.