Hummingbird

In which Ragna has her second class

and the willy warmer is brought back out of retirement.

Sometimes a class will take a fair bit of forethought and co-ordination before it gets underway.  The girl who booked me for this one definitely had some clear ideas on her choice of venue and I was happy to try to incorporate her suggestions.  The first one - sadly - was completely unworkable.

It was a place called November, on the top floor of the Princes Mall, in Glasgow.  I was aware of it, because I'd had drinks in there before, back when it was called October.  So I wasn't sure of how appropriate it would be.  I went through to Glasgow to check it out, though, in case there was a room that I'd been unaware of.   But no... nothing that work.

The second suggestion was Hummingbird.  And that's a venue I'd happily use again and again, if I could afford to do so.  It was almost perfect.  A beautiful room in a beautiful building.  Right at the top of the building, with skylights and everything.  The only problem was the heat.  I was naked and it was almost too warm for me, so it must have been pretty tough on everybody else.  Thankfully there were fans available.

I met the girl who booked me, early in the day.  She had arranged a cocktail making class at the same venue, so that was where the co-ordination needed to be taken care of.  I got in at around 12PM and set down the sketchpads, props and charcoal, then we had a quick conversation about the layout of the room.  We moved a couch round and agreed that all the equipment could be kept out of the way until everyone was settled down.

A late addition to this particular class was a mask of the bride's fiancé.  I was asked if I could wear that for a short period, right at the beginning.

So, after that, I had a couple of hours going spare.  I walked around Glasgow for a bit, then returned to Hummingbird and sat downstairs to wait for Ragna.  When she arrived, I quickly went over the theme of the event and then we sat around and relaxed, while we waited for everything to start up.    I noticed right away, that she seemed a lot more confident this time.  The first class had been a good introduction for her, so now she had an idea of what to anticipate, she was more ready to have a bit of fun with it.  Which was lucky, because she was about to get a lot more responsibility this time.

Then we went upstairs.  I went into the gents and stripped off, while Ragna went into the room and introduced herself to the girl who had booked us.  Later, she came through with the mask, we spent a couple of minutes discussing the layout and our strategy, then finally we kicked it off.

She settled the girls down, introduced herself and told the class that they were going to be doing some life-drawing - and the model was going to be the bride's fiancé.  Then she fetched me and led me into the room.

I'm very glad I had Ragna with me, for this class, because I was throwing a lot of things her way and a couple of times I worried that I might be overwhelming her a bit.  There were a lot of girls in a relatively small space, so there were definitely times when it helped that she was there to talk to some, while I talked to others.  Since I started this, I've become good at spotting the moments where I can grab everyone's attention and address the entire room, but that's not always the easiest thing to do; especially when everyone is enthusiastic and a bit animated.

It didn't help that we were having to improvise a lot of the time.  I had needed to take my glasses off, so I could wear the mask - so after the first pose, I had to grab Ragna's attention to get them back, so I could actually see the pictures and announce a winner to the first drawing challenge.  During the second pose, I noticed that the coloured chalks were missing, because Ragna hadn't realised where they were.  I'd bought little tins for them a few weeks ago, so they could look better.  I saw them still sitting on the table where I'd left them, got one of the girls to pass them forward.

Then, for the third pose, I had to remember where I'd left the props -  and again, I had to ask one of the girls to pass them forward to me.  These were clumsy little moments, but I managed to laugh about it.  I always figure that we should be as smooth and professional as possible, but there are inevitably going to be little things that go wrong - and so long as they're not serious issues, we can joke about them and they hopefully become funny rather than irritating. 

For the first time in months... probably for the first time since it was given to me by one of the girls in a previous class three years ago... I produced the willy warmer.  I found it recently, and added it to the bag of props a couple of days ago.  For a while I didn't think any of the girls were going to be interested in it, so it lay on the floor for ages, after being introduced.  But it was eventually introduced to one of the poses.  There's something slightly surreal about pulling a willy warmer on, when surrounded by people, but I managed it.

And for this event, there were actually four penis pictures to pose with.  One of them actually made me think of one of those cartoon representations of a fish that had been eaten - those pictures of the head and skeleton.

Later, Ragna and I went to get something to eat and catch up about stuff in general.  I made sure I let her know I had appreciated her help a lot, this time.  And I apologised for the couple of moments where things got slightly chaotic.

I had leaned on her pretty heavily at times during this class - relying on her to keep up with the scoring, to pass out sketchpads, to even - at times - make requests of her while she was still carrying out an earlier request.  Sometimes the second request even contradicted the earlier one, when I changed my mind and went with a different tactic.  The girls in this group were quick to protest, for example, when they disagreed with a scoring decision I'd made and a couple of times their logic was compelling and persuasive.  So there was at least one occasion where I asked Ragna to deduct points from one person, then - while she was still getting that person's name - reversed my decision and asked her to restore them.  If her head was reeling a couple of times,  it would have been completely understandable. 

I will not hesitate to hire Ragna again, for any future classes in Glasgow.  She seems to completely understand the nature of these events and is a great tutor.

Runner up

I recently came pretty close to winning an online photographic competition.  This picture - taken a week ago, on the 3rd of June - was voted pretty highly.  Ultimately, though, I didn't manage to claim the prize and the accolades and the infamy.

It was nice to get so close, though.  And I got some flattering compliments about my physique.  So it was still a bit of an ego boost.

Punk cock cake (A mixed up title)

In which I team up with a new tutor

and we introduce a penis shaped cake to an art class

I made a new friend, recently, and we hit on a potential new direction for the art classes.  She makes novelty cakes and told me that she could make up penis shaped cakes.  I was really interested in the idea and commissioned her to make one for an upcoming class... this class.  I also wanted her at the class, so she could present the cake personally.  If the girls had any questions - ingredients, content, anything like that - then she could answer them personally.  And if anyone was likely to be interested in her cake making skills - enough to commission her to do any more baking, for example - then it would definitely be best to have her on the spot.

That wasn't the only thing interesting about this specific class.  It was going to be a hen night... but then, a couple of days before the class was scheduled, word came down that the wedding had been cancelled and it was now going to be just a bunch of girls having a bit of a party.  That left Karin and I a little bit unsure about what kind of tone to take.  Whether to avoid any reference to weddings or marriages or anything like that.

Ultimately, it wasn't really that big a deal.  We let the girls set the tone they wanted to take and once the basic template of the class was established, it wasn't like a topic we had to studiously avoid.  In almost all my other classes, there may be the occasional reference to the upcoming wedding, but mostly the girls are focused on the immediate art class and the various opportunities for innuendo.

I seem to be developing a bit of a trademark pose, that I've called "The Lunge".  It's a nasty one to hold for too long, but it's a laugh while it lasts.  The best thing about it is that I can pick out a specific person to direct this pose towards, for maximum effect.  I lean in to her and reach out with grasping, clawed fingers.  I've even started using it sometimes, when I'm doing a bit of photographic modelling.

I ended up with a sort of half-melted face in one of the pictures.  I think the charcoal got a bit smudged, but I loved it.  It made me think of Two-Face in the Batman comics.  The "GRRR" word balloon definitely helped, though.

We weren't completely sure about what would be the best time to introduce the cake, so I suggested we kick off the class as normal, with the first traditional pose and leave it until we were a couple of poses in.  It made sense to let the girls settle into the normal routine, before introducing anything new.

When the cake was cut, it was also kind of fun - and probably predictable - for me to suggest that I strategically pose myself and look a bit shocked.  Cheesy, melodramatic and just a bit macabre.  I'm not going to claim I know what it's like to be Greyjoyed now (and why isn't that a verb yet?) but that's a good thing.

The cake definitely seemed to be a nice addition to the class.  I thought it was funny when one of the girls ate the sponge but left the icing, while another one ate the icing, but left the sponge.  I thought it would have been even funnier if they'd swapped plates once they'd finished the bits they liked.

I'm also very aware of the fact that - during every challenge - some girls draw faster than others.  I've got to keep an eye on that and time every pose, so that the faster girls don't get bored while they're waiting for the next challenge and the slower ones get a chance to finish what they're drawing.  Attention spans need to be taken into consideration, but people also need to feel that they've had time to linger over something.  It takes confidence in your audience to know when to slow the pace down a bit, because often the temptation is to speed up.  But that just creates a more frantic pace and can be a bit frustrating.

So I also appreciated that the cake was there as an extra "prop".  The girls who finished their drawings quickly, would reach for their plates and keep eating.  It was an extra distraction.

And finally, as usual, there was the Make-A-Giant-Man pose.  Always one of my favourites.  And one of the girls had to get special mention for her attention to detail.  She drew in the crooked little finger on my right hand.

That happened when I had to drag my dog away from a fight, nearly ten years ago.  I had just qualified as a massage therapist and one of his claws scraped down my finger and snapped the tendon.  There was no pain and the injury genuinely seemed completely trivial.   I genuinely thought it would heal and the crook would be a temporary feature, but it stuck around.  By the time I was aware it was there to stay, I had already managed to compensate for it in my therapy work.

So seeing it reflected in one of the pictures was really cool.

And all that was left was the final traditional moment - where I pose with a strategically positioned picture of a penis.  If there isn't an opportunity for something like this any earlier in the class, it's generally because the girls are probably a little too polite or civilised.  So the Make-A-Giant-Pose is a bit like giving them permission.  In fact, it's practically like requesting a penis picture.

This was a great one, though.  A punk penis.  I love the colouring of it.

It was a fun class with a great vibe.  And it could have been much less pleasant if the mood had been wrong.  But once we all relaxed into it, everybody seemed - as always - to really enjoy themselves.  I could break my arm patting myself on the back, here.  But if I don't blow my own trumpet (to really overdose on the metaphors) then who will?

Karin really seemed to fit in just nicely, too.  We've yet to decide on the future of the cock cakes, because there are a couple of teething issues to negotiate, but I'm hopeful that we'll come up with something.  Time will tell.