Get a hat

Often, at these classes, I'll get a group of girls who are initially a bit wary.  They walk into the room looking startled and a bit suspicious - peering round the door and even seeming to be irritated and almost hostile.  There's nervous laughter and shocked noises.  And these responses are coming from girls who already know what's going on.

That's how this class started.  It took a while to coax the girls in, and I had to be quiet because the bride was blindfolded and was the only one of them who had no clue what to expect.  Eventually, she was led in by the hand.

I improvised at that point and took her other other hand, then led her into the middle of the room.  That was the point where - at hear expense - some of the other girls seemed to relax into the whole thing.  Loads of pictures were taken of the bride and I - her blindfolded and me standing naked next to her.

I was wearing a hat - a new prop I'd recently got hold of - and before the bride took off her blindfold, I took the hat off and held it over my crotch.  And kept it there for the next ten minutes or so - even conducting the entire first pose with it.  It got discarded and forgotten shortly after that, though.

I liked using the hat.  It felt awkward and strange - a bit contrived - to be continually holding it in position like that at first, but then I realised that the contrivance was what was making it fun.  It only felt unnatural to me, because I wasn't used to going to such lengths to preserve a bit of modesty.

The event went well.  There was the slow start, but it was a large group and I think a few of the girls didn't know each other, yet.  Often the large groups require a bit more effort, but in this case, it was well worth it.  By the end of the event, the girls were completely into it and really seemed to be enjoying themselves.  A couple of the girls that I had thought were a bit shy and reserved initially, were actually pretty eager to pose for photographs with me and I was continually being invited to get into the middle of one group or another.

At one point, I was posing with the bride.  I made a joke to her about her husband coming after me once he'd seen the pictures, but someone else said that this class was his idea.  That's something I like to hear about - a couple being at ease with this sort of thing, rather than threatened by it.

When it was all done, I went to the reception desk to pay for the room rental.  While I was there, the two girls at the reception became curious about the nature of the class, so I described it to them.  I showed them the blog website on my laptop, then wrote the address of it down on the back of one of my old art business cards.  One of those girls might be going to a hen night in February, and she seemed to be keen on pitching this to her friends as a potential adventure.  The really cool thing was that the girls I had just modelled for were in the hotel bar, so by the time I left, she was planning on getting some feedback from them.  If they were still as enthusiastic, then I can only imagine that they'd have done a far better job of selling the classes than I ever could.

A new leaflet

I created this leaflet this morning.  Look out for it very soon, at a location near you... at least if you live in Edinburgh.

Talking metaphorically

I saw a kilt in a shop, this morning.  It was on sale at £50 and I figured I'd go in and buy it.  I had just enough spare cash and it was in a Farquharson tartan (which isn't all that common) so it seemed ideal.  The plan was that I'd wear it for this afternoon's art class and then keep it for all future classes.

Unfortunately, that plan collapsed as soon as I took a closer look.  It was a lighter fabric and didn't have the same belt kind of setup at the waist that I would have anticipated.  It was a woman's kilt.  So just not appropriate at all.

I got to the Standard in plenty of time, as usual.  The same old paranoia and the same old fears of lateness kicked in, so when I had finished setting up, I was - as usual - still an hour ahead of schedule.  I looked forward to my tutor arriving, so I could at least talk to someone and have a distraction.  My usual tutor - Alison - is in Morocco right now, but she had arranged for a friend - Louise - to stand in for her.

Some of the girls arrived nearly half an hour early, so I talked to the organiser about how we would start the class.  The bride didn't know what was happening, so we had one of those surprise classes - my favourite type.  We agreed that we would go for the typical ploy - the tutor would make it look like a boring art class, pretend to have forgotten the props, go looking for something to stand in for them, "discover" me and bring me in.

Unfortunately, Louise didn't turn up.  As time ran down, I started sweating and checking my 'phone for messages, but nothing.  No tutor and no 'phone calls.  And then it was 1PM and the girls were coming back down the stairs and I had to admit that our fancy introduction plans had been shelved.

It occurred to me that Louise might simply be running a little late, but I didn't want to keep the girls waiting, because I had no idea what kind of schedule they might be running to, so we got started.  I went through a couple of basic "warm-up" poses, then started delivering the challenges.  Draw with a straight line.  Take a chunky bit of charcoal and draw "angry".  I did my favourite challenge - four groups of three and each group draw the full body between them.

And I did the challenge that was established in the last art class...

Two volunteers are called for.  One is a model and one is a co-ordinator.  Co-ordinator sets up a pose for the model and I.  And after that - the roles are reversed, so the first model gets to take her revenge on the co-ordinator of the pose was excessively cruel.

And throughout it all... no tutor, no texts and no 'phone calls.  I delivered the class on my own.  I always feel a little clumsy and a little less confident when this happens, so I always feel bad for the girls who have booked me.  But I think (I hope) they still enjoyed themselves and I think (I hope) I did a good job of both modelling and presenting the class.

I asked the event organiser if they had a schedule they needed to stick to, then gave the girls a little longer than usual, in the very vague hope that my tutor might have got the time wrong and might turn up at 2PM - and so at least be present for part of the class.  It didn't work, though, and in the end, the organiser told me they had to wind it up so they could meet someone back at their apartments.

I went through my usual routine of picking out a favourite picture and passed round the feedback book.  The comments were complimentary, as usual.  One girl wrote that I had "massive balls".  They do tend to look a bit bigger when I've been recently waxed, but I have a feeling she was talking metaphorically.

Dubious chainsaw

I'm still fresh from today's class.  Currently sitting in The Standard, which was my first stop when I got back into town.

I had two bookings today.  One in Edinburgh, which needed two models - and which necessitated some rapid recruiting earlier in the week when one of my regular models had to drop out at short notice and all the others were busy.  And one in Glasgow, which just needed me.

This was my second visit to the Tiki Bar.  And, happily, this booking ran a lot more smoothly than the last one.  The girls arrived early, which was a bit jarring, because Tammara (my tutor for this event) and I were still setting things up.  I stepped forward to speak to the girls, and two of them stepped forward, making urgent "shushing" motions before I could say anything that might spoil the surprise they had in mind.

I drew those girls aside and - thinking I'd had the time wrong - started to apologise for not being ready, but thankfully it wasn't my fault.  They had arrived early and we decided it would be best if they went upstairs, got something to eat and came down when they were ready to start the class.  I told them I was flexible on the times, so long as they finished up by 5PM (an hour after their class was scheduled to conclude) and asked them how they wanted to proceed.

They had a Brad Pitt mask, because the bride was a huge fan, and we quickly fleshed out a basic plan.  In the end, I wore the mask, hid behind the bar and waited.  Tammara let the girls arrive, told them she had forgotten the props (our favourite ploy) and went behind the bar to "find" something she could use.  We had decided a lantern would be perfect - so she walked back into the room carrying the lantern, told the girls she had found the perfect prop and then said that Brad Pitt would hold it for them.

Surprisingly, it felt a bit weird to be wearing a mask for that first pose.  I never would have anticipated it, but I felt a little self-conscious and couldn't help wondering if the girls would feel uncomfortable with it.  The mask made me feel a bit disconnected - like I wasn't really engaging with them - and I felt bad about that.

After the first pose, though, Tammara asked the girls to say goodbye to Brad and hello to Graham - and the class continued.

The other thing I felt slightly self-conscious about was the fact that I had modelled for another class on men's intimate waxing earlier this week.  The girl who had waxed me asked me if I had any preferences about styles, but I was happy to leave that up to her, so I told her I was flexible.  The waxing tutor - Kim Lawless - asked her what she wanted to do, and she said "I want to take it all off."  I was ultimately left with a bit of a diamond shaped patch just above the belt line, but everything else was taken.  It was a nice look, though, and I'll be very happy to use that therapist again in the future.  I was very comfortable with her.  Nobody in the group commented on - or asked questions about the lack of a thatch, though.  I thought about commenting myself - explaining the smooth look - but in the end, I kind of liked leaving them to draw their own conclusions.  Of course, if any of them read this, their potential curiosity will be satisfied.

There were some great pictures.  A couple of really cool, artistically adventurous depictions of my penis, though.  One drew eyes on the testicles and turned the "diamond" into a punk hairstyle.  She even seemed to draw sharp teeth onto the shaft, though I'm not sure if that was intentional.

Another girl focused on the penis as well, and ended up with something that reminded me of a chainsaw.  I loved it.

Ultimately, though, the winner was one of the final pictures to be drawn.  I looked googly eyed and weird.  So a perfect likeness.

And finally... back to Edinburgh, then on to the Standard so I could collect the sketchpads that Alison and the two models had used there.  And in a little while... rest.

It's been a fun day.