After a couple of not entirely successful classes (one was OK and one was disastrous) I had a return to top form for the latest one, which was a huge relief. I travelled to Piperdam for it.
The journey was actually a little challenging. I checked all the bus timetables before I left and found various options that would get me into the local area a couple of hours before the class was due to start, and one option that got me there just ten minutes early. That one was completely out of the question, since it offered no margin for error, no time to set the room up and no time for me to gather myself and relax, once I knew I was on the site and had found the place I was going to put on the show.
So I caught a bus to Dundee, then another one to Piperdam - a golf lodge - and walked through a small residential neighbourhood until I found a place to get myself a coffee and settle down for a while. A quick text to the girl who had hired me and then two of them came out to meet me in the restaurant. Getting better all the time - that gave us time to chat for a few minutes and I was able to show them one of the videos of previous classes. It also gave me an opportunity to find out how many people knew what was happening (just the two I was talking to) and how to introduce the class to them.
I got a lift to their chalet and was shown into the room where the class was going to be held. It was dominated by a full size snooker table, which wasn't ideal, but which provided some interesting logistical challenges to overcome. It meant I couldn't make full use of the room, because the floor space simply wasn't available. And it meant I couldn't use any of the chairs, because that would have put me completely out of sight to some of the girls. So I decided I would either lie down on the table, or remain standing for the duration of the class.
I was given time to get ready. I distributed the pads, set up the music - all that stuff - and then one of the girls came to get me a few minutes later. She knocked and entered the room, then apologised when she saw I was naked. It's amazing how often that happens, even when the introduction has been established. I can't count how often a girl has entered a room, taken one look and apologised as though she's intruded somehow. It always amuses me.
The girls were in another room on the upper floor, so I was taken downstairs quietly, where I waited out of sight while they were all taken into the snooker room and seated. I had a brief qualm when I suddenly realised that I was standing next to a glass door, where I could be seen by any random passerby, but I quickly ducked out of sight without incident.
Soon, I was being led into the room. The initial response was probably not as overwhelmingly positive as I could have hoped for - I think a couple of the girls were more shocked than entertained when I entertained. I don't think the bride was completely comfortable at first, either. But everybody quickly warmed up.
All the girls were dressed as French artists. They had fake moustaches and wore shirts with black and white stripes. Most of them thought they were supposed to be burglars, so there was some great bits of misdirection going on. Some of them had been sent out to buy extra props which had absolutely no relevance to the basic concept, so they had all been kept guessing.
I used some of the props for the first pose. One was a hat made up of plastic fruit and the other was a pair of novelty sunglasses. And when the first drawing challenge was done, I had no trouble picking out a winner - it was the one where I looked like a naked Elton John with no genitals looking like a mugger. Fair enough - it's not easy to summarise that picture succinctly, but just take a look. It's undeniable.
I really loved some of the pictures in this class. I held up one of my favourites and pointed out that he looked a bit shy, but was just happy to be there. The legs were uneven in that one, too - with the right leg being shorter than the left - but I felt like that just added to the offbeat quirkiness of the image.
Another favourite was during the "straight lines" challenge. It was the sharp, pointy penis that really made it work, but I also loved how the arms were drawn - with one held at a jaunty, cheerful angle. OK, fair enough, it's probably not all that accurate when a person sees an emotional element to a basic drawing, but sometimes I just can't help it.
Eventually, the snooker table had to be used. It was too big and too obvious a prop, so simply couldn't be ignored for the whole class and so, eventually, I sprawled out across it and did the "Musical Chairs" pose - which involves everyone drawing for the duration of one song, then switching chairs at random, picking up someone else's picture and carrying on with the drawing. Someone worried that the picture she had picked up was too good, so I said "if you can't improve on it, then just set about ruining it."
The winner of that competition was the result of someone using a lot of imagination - she turned the snooker table into a bath. I debated a moment about whether I should reward her for using her imagination, or penalise her for cheating. The reward option won out.
At the end of the class, the two girls who had collected me at the restaurant offered to give me a lift back to the bus stop. By then, I was really a lot happier and a lot more relaxed with the classes in general - especially when one of them enthused about it to me. I was also really pleased when the girl who had set it all up told me that I'd been booked because one of her friends had attended a class in Edinburgh a couple of years earlier and had raved about it. I told her that it was probably me who did both events. It's really cool when something like that happens.
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