Between the two classes, Alison and I passed a recruitment stand for the armed forces. I had 1% battery life in my iPhone at this point, which was just enough time to snap off a single picture, because the stand was flanked on either side by a group of anti-war protestors, who were clearly there as a response to the recruitment stand and I couldn't resist the opportunity to capture this political moment. Alison said later, that she hadn't even noticed it, which was hardly surprising - there were a lot of people passing back and forth between us and them. I noticed it right away, though.
We went to Waterstone's book shop on George Street, because the dad of a friend of hers had just written a book that she was hoping to buy. It wasn't in stock, though, which was disappointing. So we had a coffee and we spoke about a couple of other classes. She had sent me a text recently, asking me if I'd ever done a hen night, where I'd been asked to wear a horse's head mask, because she'd seen pictures of it on Facebook. She wasn't sure that it was me, because of the mask, but she had seen little wooden boxes in the pictures. I used to use them for holding the charcoal and chalk, but had eventually "retired" them when they started getting a bit too damaged as a result. I wanted to see the Facebook page, but we never got round to trying to find it, before we started to walk back to The Fiddler's Elbow.
There was an exhibition of some pictures on ST Andrew Square, that we took a look at on the way, which was really cool. They were set up to reflect scenes of nature, and some were really cool. At least two of them represented Fibinacci sequences - a concept that I first heard about back in the late nineties, and which really fascinated me at the time.
And eventually… back to work. If classes like these two could ever really be called "work". Just check out the pictures...
Clearly, the morning class had established a precedent for the day and it didn't take long before we started to be concerned about whether the second model's reliability as well. Alison had been disconcerted by the first guy's failure to turn up, so she had gone through all her notes, all her texts and made sure she had got all the details right - venue, time date. She already knew she hadn't messed up, but was making sure. She had also made repeated 'phone calls to him, to find out what his reason was - and repeated 'phone calls to the other guy to make sure he wasn't going to do the same thing. And she hadn't had a single answer to any of the calls.
So as we returned to the Fiddler's Elbow, I suggested we wait until 3:55PM and if the model didn't turn up, then I'd get changed and ready for the class. By then, she was getting pretty frustrated in general and shaved five more minutes off that time. It makes sense - after all, the models need to arrive a good ten minutes early for the classes, so they have time to get ready.
So, he didn't turn up, I ended up doing two classes, and I really enjoyed both of them. The second group were a bit more raucous, but in a good way. Sometimes groups like that can be difficult to maintain, but this lot were just a bit lively and loud, with their good humour adding to the general atmosphere.
They had no trouble coming up with ideas for various poses, but I had to knock back the "handstand" suggestion. At one point, I almost got tempted to try it out against the wall, just to see if I could, but Alison had a bit more sense than me and talked me back from that particular ledge. After that, there were various Olympic sporting pose suggestions, and I had to shamefully confess that I didn't know any of them. I admitted that I clearly didn't have enough patriotic spirit in me to even bother watching the opening ceremony.
In the end, the first pose had me on my knees, with my hands in the air, making "victory" signs. That was fun, but - like the "lion-lunge" pose from the morning's class - I couldn't hold it for long.
We had an extra little incentive for the challenges in the afternoon class, though. I'd bought a couple of boxes of toffifee, and offered them as additional prizes to the various winners. I don't even know how to pronounce the word, and somehow manage to say it a bit differently every time I attempt it, so that was my own personal challenge - just managing to offer them as a prize. I definitely like them, though, so I've got plenty left for myself, now that the day is done.
One of the girls had bought a load of sweets from the farmer's market, though, so she handed them out as well. Skullcrushers, cola cubes, cola bottles and perhaps a couple of others. I took one of the skullcrushers. I didn't have my glasses on at the time, so when she held them out, I genuinely thought they were white mice. I'm not generally a fan of white chocolate, but I think I've got some sort of nostalgic fondness for white mice.
There were a couple of failed attempts at something called "the Superman pose" that the girls wanted to try out. I didn't know what they were getting at, at first, but soon worked it out. I was supposed to lie on my back and hold the girl's hands, then plant my feet in her stomach - then I was supposed to raise my legs, while she lunged forward. If it had worked, then she would have been Superman - sort of in a flying position. I protested that my feet would be dirty, but she was completely game for it, regardless. In the end, she lay on the floor between my legs, while I stood astride her, holding a handwritten "Sorry Martin" message.
We finished up with the always popular "Make A Giant Man" pose and it was probably the least successful and most deformed result we've ever had. Mainly because there were two bums and five penises - and someone had managed to draw both a bum and a penis in the same picture. There were also at least three torsos and two of them were from behind. Now, this pose can often go a bit awry and that's part of the fun. But it's never gone quite as awry as this one, before.
After the class was done, everybody was really in a good mood and none of us were all that particularly bothered about moving on. I think we might have stayed as we were for ages, just milling around in little groups and having conversations with each other, while I stayed naked, if that had been an option. But I started worrying that perhaps we'd taken up the room a lot longer than we had said we would, and perhaps the management would be keen for us to move on, since the class was done. So, since Alison and I still had to tidy everything up, I encouraged everybody to move downstairs, then I got dressed and we packed everything away. It was a shame, because we were all still enjoying ourselves, but it was probably a good idea to start winding everything up.
So… now Alison and I have made some vague plans for meeting up more socially, later. Probably next Sunday. We'll probably catch Cloud Atlas at the cinema, then go to watch (in my case, rematch) every episode of Utopia. She's seen the first two episodes of it, been hooked and missed the rest. I'll be very happy to watch it all over again.
We're still very frustrated at the two models who didn't show up. Last week, I spent a lot of time worrying about some of the things that could have gone wrong, but I never seriously considered that we might be let down by our own staff, so I'm definitely glad that I was able to step in and cover for them. And not even just once - but twice, by two separate models in the same day. It would have been disastrous if I hadn't been there. The main thing isn't the money I'd have had to pay back, although that would have been a pretty brutal loss. But the disappointment and frustration to my clients would have been much, much worse. Thankfully, it didn't come to that.
But now I'm very curious to find out if either of those two models ever get back in touch with Alison to explain themselves. It would have to be an intensely good explanation, though, if they're to stand any possibility at all of getting a second chance.
It looks like they've lost all chances of ever working for us - but they could always try to enlist. And the first task for any new recruits is clearly getting past the protestors.
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